So, this last month has been harder than expected. Praise the Lord I am walking, but it will be a while before it feels normal again. I think what has been especially challenging has been surprising. Not the recovery, but the triggering of feelings from the last couple of months. The helplessness of not walking, the terrible physical pain I went through, etc. That leads to old feelings of being in physical pain, either from a person, or simply a physical health issue. 

  I start to question why when I am following the Lord it often leads me to painful places. I asked about it tonight and He told me that “In order to be like Him, we must suffer like Him.” I then intrigued Him, and asked “Why is the way to follow You through carrying a cross?” His answer was so simple, yet profound. It was also an amazing reminder. Instead of thinking in the perspective of “This is happening to me, because of God,” I will think “This is happening to me and I will go through it because of my love for God.” He never could have shown us how much He loved us, if He didn’t suffer for us. In the same way we can never show God how much we love Him if we don’t suffer for Him.

  Now, I don’t want anyone thinking they could pay back God for what He has done. He bore the weight of the sin of all mankind, left His throne and was without sin. We cannot pay Him back for what He has done. But, He still receives the love offering of our lives, that He gave us to begin with and then rewards us for being faithful servants. My mind is blown! We simply get to be small examples of His love, to bring more people into His kingdom.

  So, the next time something hard falls upon your life remember that this life is temporary, you will be rewarded and currently are being rewarded by simply seeing the heart of Jesus in your life. For He was a man aquatinted with many sorrows and grief.