Kyrgyzstan (and why I no longer wear glasses)

So, I have a crazy story to tell you as I type on my phone for the first time without glasses. It all started when we flew into Kyrgyzstan. We as a squad (all five of us combined teams) had a week of debriefing our time in Armenia and having different trainings before we go out to do more ministry. During that week we did an evening of confessions to the squad of different struggles we were having and asking the Lord for healing. We started that night with baptizing one of our squad members as she was surrendering even more of herself to the Lord. I jumped into the water and hugged her. The Lord then told me to get back into the water to get prayed for and ask for healing in my ankle and back. As I was being prayed for it turned into me asking for healing in all areas and with that the Spirit of rejection that I had carried for so llong left and I have been walking in believing that I am accepted and loved ever since. I also felt like my body had gotten stronger, even if I did not have complete healing in those areas yet. The Lord also told me to fast my glasses. My eye that turns in has been staying straight for half the day. My eye has never done that before without glasses. Fast forward to our week of ministering to the Lord. We have a month of ministry in Kyrgyzstan, but our leaders had prayed about going into the desert and seeking the face of God. We went out to a yurt camp for a week, near a lake, surrounded by mountains and lots of food as it was a time of celebration of who God is. The first night my back felt like it was on fire. So, I went out and talked to the Lord, because I had some questions as to why He would ask me to ask for healing, but not give it to me completely. A felt like He was teasing me. Also, at this point, that evening He said I could put my glasses back on to see to walk to my locations at night. As I was talking to Him amd kind of pouting He told me to “be still.” He then told me to “drop the attitude.” As I sat there I felt drawn to go to the lake water that looked as big as an ocean. As I was by the water He said “get in.” He also told me to strip. I was so scared of someone seeing me and of the water being cold. But, I was obedient. As I was in the water He told me that He was washing me of the World and my dependence on it. As I was getting out of the actually semi warm water I realozed how the Lord had used people’s prayers for me for healing as a matter of connection in prayer and as a way for them to see my dirt and physical struggles. How many times I had pretended I was fine physical and emotionally, instead of just being real and letting people pray for me. As I was puttiing my jacket on my glasses were gone. I thought “Well Lord I am reliant on You.” The Lord showed me so much throughout the week in the mountainous desert. One of those things was how many times I had sought His hand and what He could do for me and not Hos face, who He is. I repented of the idol of being pain free over knowing God and who He is, even if we cam only know Him a little, He is so vast and eternal. To close I want to share that my eyesight continues to improve, and I do believe the Lord will heal it. But, my bigger desire is for Him to use it to open my eyes more to the spiritual realm and have me more reliant on Him, rather than the world and what it offers to help. My ankle still hurts sometimes, but it is healed and strong enough. My back has been better, I have been putting cold water on it everyday. My eyes continue to inprove. I am wondering if my PCOS is healed and my ears have actually been popping. My one leg is still longer than the other. Just to bring clarity to any confusion. Even if He chooses to not heal me I seek His face, His heart and I pray that I do not keep on seeking just His hand. I feel like I have fallen in love with Him again, and I do not want to leave that place again. Even when the feelings leave, He never does. I want to live in contiinued pursuit of Him. He is worth it.